As he handed me the needle that was filled with heroin I asked him if he had HIV. He said no but he did have Hepatitis C. I took the needle from him, thought for a second, and believed that there was a chance I wouldn’t catch it. Before I knew it I felt that pin prick and there was a needle hanging out of my arm. It was in an odd spot, not near Grand Dad, but much more to the right. It was really deep and I thought well I must have hit something with the needle in this far. I pulled back, noted the blood filling the syringe and pushed forward.
Man did it feel good. My whole body changed, temporarily, pins and needles, that cool warming feeling that seems to make me be for so long.
The next moment I was staring at this person and said “OK. Lets get a lot.” I was all in yet again caught up in the pain of active addiction.
It is always the same in all of these dreams, when I do use, it is about getting more and more and more and more and more and more. There is never enough.