p 0 v . n e t

Nice...day off of work yoga climbing and hanging out with friends. Not much more for me to say there except I really should do it more often.

Ahh words...in one way or another they are just silly manipulations of the truth. Better to remain silent and not talk. Most of the time it just seems like I'm stating my case. Maybe that isn't always true but I dislike it when it is.

So how to I be me? How do I truly be myself? How can I get outside of all of the bullshit and just allow everything to be?

I don't know. Maybe I'm not suppose to know? Do you?

Seems like forever...I just haven't been writing about all of my wonderful adventures...I suppose I just haven't been taking the time to stop and write down just what exactly is going on...Maybe I'm afraid? Maybe I just don't want to stop? Maybe stopping is an admission of defeat? Or maybe stopping will actually allow me to feel. To sit and soak up all of the feelings in their totality?

In this session I was to deliver all three parts of awkward pose and also eagle pose. My first time up I did pretty well but it was a bit slow and I was questioning at times. I almost got the dialogue perfectly but I missed a line at eagle where "If you are unable to bring your palms together interlace your fingers".

In this session I was to deliver the 2nd and 3rd parts of Awkward pose. Overall I was feeling like crap and definitely not feeling confident or very good about myself. It didn't help that my memorization of the posture was not quite there.

It wasn't that bad but there was definitely room for improvement. The assignment for the next week was to go over all of awkward pose again and prepare eagle pose.

After the session I was committed to be sure that I had both of these postures down for the next time.

What if all of the things in life you didn't like or weren't satisfied with could just be sent back for a full refund? If that were true I wonder what I'd get back from her? I'd wonder what all of the hearts I'd crushed would get back from me? I'd wonder who would be in charge of making sure the postage was paid for all of our happiness and pain? Do you think it could all fit in one of those little USPS trucks or would we need one of those daisy chained 18 Wheelers?

As much as it feels like I loose in situations I know that I'm winning through experience.